The Ashkenormative girl of your dreams, the Hyde Park- educated mother of your future children: this Shira, Miriam, or Rebecca. You’ll meet her after you practice with your college shiksa. She has hair the color of your momma’s latkes, eyes green like a bitter herb. She’s the girl who will cook your brisket, clean your house for Shabbos, pay off your student loans.
She’ll let you show off how romantic you are. You’ll say you can pick her up and throw her in the lake. When she emerges wet with frizzy hair, shouldn’t she be smiling?
You show her you can daven at sunrise, tying tefillin tight so she can see the muscles strain against the straps.
You debate her hamantaschen all night long, so she knows that all of your opinions are very important, and you can flap your tongue for hours.
In the morning, she’ll leave you for the girl who plays the carillon.
Before she does, she’ll say, let’s keep that shanda of a night between us and Lake Michigan.
